


I wanna contribute to the chaos

by StinkyyTrash



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Consensual Underage Sex, Domestic Bliss, Finn really likes seashells, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Found/and biological family, M/M, Other, POST PARTING WAYS, POST PUERTO LOBOS, Romance, Rutting, Sleepy grinding, They're sad and in love ok!, Usually top Finn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-22 10:40:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22881715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StinkyyTrash/pseuds/StinkyyTrash
Summary: mmmmmMMmmmmOK so I can't summarize well but basically this is all post parting ways, and Sean's trying to cope. Along the way we'll meet some of Sean's estranged family, and see some reoccurring characters from the canon game.TW for smut and angst, but no self harm. This is gonna be a series with a shit ton of chapters so sit back, relax, and enjoy the wild ride!
Relationships: Sean Diaz & Finn, Sean Diaz/Finn
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	1. The spark in your eyes, the look on your face.

**Author's Note:**

> whew I guess we're jumping right into the angst!  
> This will probably be the shortest chapter of this whole work.

'This is for the snakes and the people they bite  
For the friends I’ve made, for the sleepless nights  
For the warning signs I’ve completely ignored  
There’s an amount to take, reasons to take more'

*

A long sigh escaped Sean’s half opened mouth.  
His mind wandered, as per usual. He always dreaded when the cogs in his head spun out of control.  
When his thoughts turn dark. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt anxiously as he started to wonder if this was all a good idea.  
And no, it definitely was not. 

It's been almost a month since Sean moved into the raggedy old house his dad used to inhabit long before Sean could comprehend  
how empty this would all feel. He was living in his own filth. Clothes scattered all about, and the one twin bed. unmade and unkept, a lot like Sean  
himself. Saying this looked depressing would be a massive understatement. Sean just couldn't care less. After all, he thinks he deserves this lonely life.  
Daniel 'left' because of him and his reckless endeavors. The same plans he thought would keep his little brother safe. 

He went back to looking out his small window from his new house in Puerto lobos. He was in a nice part of town, it had a beach right outside and plenty of shade. But it wasn’t enough. Sean always wanted more. He thinks of himself as greedy, selfish, disgusting. And it wasn’t only Daniel he was missing by now. There was Finn, the mangey, reckless, and charming fuckup. Somewhere in a special spot in his brain, there was a locked up part of himself that only Finn had the keys to.  
He always had. 

Sean shook his head, attempting to get himself out of this funk, and slumped over to his joke of a fridge.  
He stared at the letter hung up by a single magnet. The letter Finn wrote him not too long ago.  
He touched his index finger and thumb to it, taking it with care.  
Sean re-read that exact letter every day. It was one of the many letters he wrote to Sean while he was at ‘Away’. Finn had one month left of parole, and wanted to come down to Puerto lobos right away.  
Sometimes Sean thought it was stupid, and maybe even selfish, wanting to up and leave “all he had” to come to some filthy beach for god knows how long. 

* 

Sean awoke at the sound of someone banging on his door, and thank fuck for the noise, he just can’t stand the night terrors.  
He hopped out of his dirty bed and threw on an undershirt to go along with his dashing outfit of tattered jeans.  
He rubbed his good eye and opened the chain lock on the door letting the stranger in. He was immediately taken aback when he saw who was standing at the door, too afraid to come inside. He thought his sleep deprived brain was making this up, it better not. 

“‘Arn’ ya gonna let me in sweetie?” Sean just couldn’t believe it. Has it really been a month since the promising letter? He went back to staring at the figure in front of him, absolutely gobsmacked. A worn, but tooth rottenly sweet smile adorned the figures face. Long, beaded dreads in front of his eyes.  
Sean couldn’t even process what was happening, so his body overpowered his half dead brain. He leaned into the figure, and hugged him bone crushingly hard. The other boy responded with an ‘oof’ as the air was “knocked” out of him from Seans weighted hug. Finn instinctively held on, afraid of the impending pull away and loss of warmth. Before he knew it, Seans eye filled with tears. Finn responded only by holding on tighter, reassuringly. Sean pulled away and led him inside. 

*

Sean gripped his glass like it would escape out from under his clutch. (Thank god for running water.)  
“Are you warm enough?” Sean asked, knowing fully that what he meant to ask was, ‘what the hell are you doing here?’  
“I- I’m good.” The older boy croaked out.  
Sean wanted to to reach out and touch him, making sure he was real.  
"Sean.."  
The gangly, tanned skinned boy looked up.  
Finn didn't take his eyes off of Sean's empty socket. “F-Finn, dude.”  
" ‘m sorry. " Out of no where, without a warning Sean lost it. Tears flooded down his cheeks as he tried to make out the right words.  
But he didn't need to say any. Sean couldn’t stop crying. He thought back to the night of the heist.

Finn rolled a thumb down Sean’s cheek, flicking away the tears.  
There was something about the way his touch lingered, almost caressing his cheek.  
And for the first time in what felt like decades, Sean felt hopeful. He felt safe.


	2. You are the poison, I need help.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whooboy get ready for some angst, smut, annnnd plenty of fluff.  
> What can I say? they're dumb and in love.

Its been two days since Finn decided to move in. There was no way he could ever go back now. The two of them didn’t talk much over those days, and it sure felt like a lifetime. It was around 10 pm when Sean lay awake. He tossed and turned uncomfortably, until Finn got up from his little spot on the floor to check on him. “Whoa whoa, are ye’ ok sweetheart?” “Finn?” “Yes my little Sean?” Sure, he was teasing, but there was some real concern and question to his voice . “D-did you uh… did you mean it? In the hospital?” Finn inched closer, sitting on the foot of Seans bed. “D-Do you ‘regret’ kissing me?” A red hot flush of embarrassment swept across Sean’s face as his self conscious thoughts formed into giants amongst his tiny army. Finn looked hurt. Almost offended, but more than anything he looked upset. He brought his hand up to Sean and kept them hovering in place, almost asking for permission to touch him. but Sean didn't acknowledge Finn and continued in his pool of self doubt . It was at this time Finn made a conscious decision. There was never a time as important as this to. say the right thing. So he exhaled sharply, and cupped Seans's face. His thumb swirling in slow circular motions against Sean's cheek. It felt powerful and intimate, yet Sean still felt dirty, like he's doing something horribly wrong. "I.. don' ever want you to feel.. like-" Finn looked lost in thought, he was really ogling over the right words. "like... Fuck. " Finn covered his mouth. He looked like he was about to cry. 'did he make Finn cry?' "I don't ever wan' ya to feel like you ain't good enough Sean Diaz. " He finally choked out. " But... Hannah.." Sean moved away, so Finn wasn't cupping his cheek anymore. "what about 'er?" Finn looked calm, and yet fragile, like he could crack any second. Sean finally snapped. "Well was Hannah good enough Finn? You.. you did all these things t-to her... and then you fucking left!" Sean huffed, tired from crying. He didn't look at Finn, and thank god. If he could see the absolute horror on his face. It was like Sean took one of Finn's own knives and stabbed him. Sean got up, tears bubbling in his eye. "You can't... why the hell would you come out here!" "S-Sean.." "No. fucking... no. I thought you 'loved' her. I thought she was family! and now you can never go b-back!" Finn's voice rose to match Sean's intensity. "I-... because I didn't fucking..." "Finn don't even. You just chew people up and spit them out. You use them up til your bored." Sean didn't believe it, not fully. He was full on sobbing now. Finn looked at the leaky roof and chuckled. But it was pained. "Whats so fucking funny!" "Sean! I 'chose' to leave all that shit behind, all those people. I.. fuck you're really gonna make me say it?" Sean was silent, caught up in his own thoughts. "Sean. I have a lot of regrets, but kissin' on you sure ain't one of them." He waved up his arms for dramatic effect. "Comin' out 'er. Leavin' them behind. Sean I know I can't ever go back. I made my decision." Sean still couldn't shake Hannah out of his head. "Sean.. I.. was never 'in love' with Hannah. " He flopped down his shoulders in defeat. Sean felt like he just got punched in the gut. "She knew it, I sure knew it. No strings attached, but I... don't want that with you . Listen I know im'a fuckup, but god knows 'm tryin. And if... yeah. If you don' want that I completely understand." Sean suddenly noticed more lighter scars on Finns face, and the drooping bags under his eyes. Finn was so tired of running. He wanted somewhere to stay. He wanted to belong. suddenly he was standing so close to Finn that it hurt. the lump in his throat wouldn't budge as tears prickled down his face. "Sean l-look about what I s-" Sean replayed their kiss over and over. 'What'r you afraid of?' _Nothing._

Before the younger boy could even process if this was a good idea he leapt into the other, warming him with a tight embrace.  
This. This was when Finn cracked. He went limp when Seans arms were wrapped around him. He managed to cover his face and  
bit into his palm to cease the sobs erupting out of him. Finn shook against Sean, his chest heaving. Sean's own crying stopped after some time.  
Then, as soon as it started, the storm ended.

*

Finn and Sean sat cross legged, facing each other on the hard, cold ground.  
Sean wanted to just give in and cry again.  
He wanted to ask Finn to repeat it. He 'needed' Finn to repeat it.  
He imagined it now. their relationship flourishing once they left the problems the past behind them. Days spent together on the beach, Finn's warm body beside him, drawing him, taking it all in. He wanted that so badly. 

Finn was the first to speak. " 'M so sorry, if I made you cry."  
Sean shook his head.  
Finn nodded.  
Silence washed over them. It was intimidating and awkward, and Sean wished he could just hold Finn. 

The clock read 2:30am, and Sean shifted his weight uncomfortably.  
Finn noticed this and tried to intervene.  
"We should uh.. probably talk 'bout what I said."  
Seans leg jiggled anxiously.  
More silence. Fuck fuck fuck. 

It must have been 4 minutes since Finn last uttered a word. (That was odd )  
Sean wanted to hit himself.  
Finns watchful eyes bored holes into him.  
"You deserve the world Seanie boy." Finn chuckled, attempting to make light of the situation. 

It was at this time that Sean, finally, grew some fucking balls. 

He looked over at Finn who just sat there, head back, looking at the ceiling.  
He grabbed for his hand, causing Finn to snap out of his daze and look over at the other boy confused. And a bit.. hopeful? 

Sean didn't know what he was doing, he's in way over his head. 

Finn cocked his head. "somthin' wrong honey?"

Oh my god the pet names. They just seemed to roll off Finns tongue.  
Sean's not afraid anymore, not with Finn here. He moved his wandering, shaky hand to rest on Finn's thigh. Finn just looked at him, adoringly.  
It stirred something up in Sean that he couldn't quite explain, and for the first time in a while, he felt loved.  
"C-can I kiss you?" Sean asked, wondering if Finn noticed how shaky his voice had become as well.  
If Finn did notice, he didn't mind, and he only leaned in closer. His hot breath so close to Sean's.  
"Yes please."

Even though it was Sean who initiated it, he just couldn't move. The sheer 'need' in Finn's voice made him shudder, butterflies in his belly.  
Finn needed to show this affection, wether it be a small peck... or something more, he needed to show Sean how much he cared.  
So it was Finn who leaned in the closest. It was Finn who's lips met with Sean's, soft, and sweet.  
Sean didn't know how to deepen the kiss like he wanted, so he just pushed forward more, leaning further into the abyss. Finn chuckled but caught on, kissing back with more force.  
Sean's never "made out" like this, he's never even kissed anyone besides Finn. And now here he is, on the floor with Finn's hand searing into Sean's inner thigh, not daring to go further. 

Sean couldn't comprehend what even compelled him to nip at Finn's bottom lip. He didn't know if it would be met with more passion, or if Finn would pull away.  
So Sean bit in more, almost breaking the skin.  
What he didn't expect, was Finn 'moaning' into Sean's mouth.  
Sean felt tingles of pleasure hearing straight for his clothed dick. 'He' made Finn moan.

Their lips crashing together, their tongues sliding against each others. Sean didn't think it would feel this good to have someone else tongue in your mouth.  
Then Finn reluctantly broke away for air, never taking his eyes off Sean.  
Sean was feeling restless. He wanted something to happen, he didn't know what yet. His cock pulsed through his jeans with want, and so he yanked Finn's arm and led him to the tiny bed. Finn shook his head.  
Finn, who looked like he might even want this more than Sean, shook his fucking head. All he wanted to do was touch the other, but he pulled away from Sean's  
grip.  
"Sweetie.."  
Sean looked confused, and slightly disappointed, but hot damn did he love the pet names.  
"Hon, I.. you don't have to do anything you don' wanna. Its all up to you, I won't push."  
"Fi-"  
"Hell, the lip on lip action' was 'nuf for me."  
"Finn.. I,.. I want you to touch me.."  
Sean was embarrassed to even say it, and Finn could tell. Finn soothed Sean.  
"Ok sweetie... your wish is my command." He placed his hand on his heart hamming it up. 

Finn gently pushed Sean on the bed, for easy access to pull off his pants and then boxers, noticing how Sean couldn't take much more foreplay.  
Sean's rock hard cock sprung out and he hissed as the cold air hit him. His shirt was still on, but he felt so exposed.  
Finn comforted him and hopped on the bed hovering over Sean. Finn's own boner was aching, but he focused on the here and now. He focused on Sean. 

He planted a trail of warm kisses and light nips along Sean's inner thighs, earning Sean's mumbled curses and urges to "just fucking start"  
Finn only laughed. "Okay eager beaver!" Finn sounded delighted. Before Sean could say anything else Finn's mouth was on him, and hoooooly fuck the sensation of Finn slowly  
sinking down, taking Sean's length in his warm mouth was enough for Sean to cum right then and there. And then, Finn started sucking in, his tongue licking a stripe up Sean's cock occasionally, and looking up at Sean. Sean whined and stirred, as the hot coil of pleasure built up too quickly in the pit of his stomach. Finn continued sucking him off, looking up at Sean with hooded eyes. Their eyes met and Sean couldn't take it, Finn gave 'him' those sweet bedroom eyes. The pleasure crashed down on him too hard, too quickly, causing Sean to moan quite loudly, (thank god the house was in the middle of no where) he rolled his head back in bliss, as he came hard. 

After a second of composure he huffed and sighed happily, only to look down to see Finn.. swallowing Sean's cum. Holy fuck?! Sean was speechless.  
Finn got up out from between Sean's legs. "D-dude holy fuck you're like a blow j-job machine!"  
Finn laughed breathlessly. "I sure hope so." Finn wiped off Sean's stomach with his already fucked up shirt.  
The two stayed there, heaving, Sean overthinking everything as always. Did he cum too fast? Is Finn going to laugh at how inexperienced he is? Thankfully all his worries were washed away when Finn laid down holding onto Sean's still trembling leg. Sean could see a clear view of what once was Finn's hard-on, which was now a pool of his own ecstasy. Fuck?? Sean made Finn come, without doing anything.  
The pair came down from their cloud nines and Finn crawled back over to Sean, placing a kiss to  
his sweaty forehead, then flopping on top of Sean. Finn was still fully clothed, while Sean had only a shirt left.  
Sean assumed Finn's pants would get ruined if he didn't clean the hell outta them soon, but Finn didn't seem to care.  
He didn't care about Sean's failure to hold on, or Sean's complete lack of experience, he just wanted Sean.

Finn dug his face in the crook of Sean's neck, laughing slightly. The vibrations causing a chill to run down Sean's spine.  
Sean sighed in contentment as Finn nearly drifted off.  
Just like a lot of things, Sean was not prepared for what came out of his own mouth after Finn, still with his head down,  
resting on Sean's neck, asked a simple, 

"You alright honey?"  
"Yeah." Sean gulped. "Yeah I'm good."  
"aight. "  
"I love you."  
Finn almost choked on god knows what, but he was not prepared for that.  
"You sure?" he half joked, with a twinge of concern in his usually calming voice.  
Sean nudged Finn off of his neck with a jab of his shoulder.  
Finn laughed softly.  
"Yeah I'm sure asshat!"  
Sean and Finn got caught up in fits of laughter, Sean's head spinning, and chest hurting. Before they knew it  
Finn was completely konked out beside the other boy. Sean decided to, like Finn, make a decision. For better or worse.  
He laid on his side facing Finn, and wrapped his arms around however much of him he could hold. He ended up with his head on Finn's chest, and his arm snaked around  
the older boy's arm. He felt secure, safe, and worthy.  
He wanted more than anything for Finn to hold him for eternity. 

'We could do.. so much together Sean.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Finn and Sean decide what they are, while Sean meets some mysterious strangers from  
> his past.


	3. Keep my arms reaching out towards anyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sean and Finn figure things out! TW for smut/Loss of virginity/internalized homophobia

'But the thought of starting over always sounded so much better  
But I won't stop this, and you won't stop this  
It'll probably go further than either of us wanted  
And it all comes down to the fact that I don't care to  
Sacrifice a good time 'cause someone says I have to  
Next thing that I know, I am removing all my clothes  
And you are dancing around the room to some song on the radio  
You say I deserve it, all'

*

Only one week.  
It has only been one week since 'the' night.  
Finn and Sean have been inseparable, their hands always on each other. Wether it be a slight brush of hands,  
or Finn's mouth on Sean's cock. 

Finn has been helping hook Sean up with a job, and added his own flare to the now clean house.  
He's been walking along the beach and picking up random shiny crap off the sand and bringing it inside like an ecstatic puppy dog.  
The pair went to markets and picked out a bit of furniture to make the house more functional, and some friends  
from Sean's new work dropped off a handmade, wooden table.  
It was all slowly coming together. 

*

"Tell me what ya' want baby" Finn's hot breath hitched against Sean's ear making him squirm.  
He didn't really think about it, it all just happened. One moment Finn was eating dinner, then the next they were fully undressed and rolling around on the bed, fighting for dominance.  
Eventually Sean hovered over Finn, pinning his wrists back, causing Finn to chuckle. Over the week they've only done things like this twice, testing the waters.  
Seeing how far they'd go. But Sean considers it all practice. Even though he was shaky and still never knew where to put his hands, Sean still felt more confident in bed.  
He nipped at Finn's bottom lip, he was quickly rewarded by lips pressed together, Finn's tongue sliding in.  
Sean whined into the other boy's mouth.  
"want to touch you"  
Finn nodded vigorously and pressed a kiss to Sean's nose from under him.  
Sean held himself up by one arm while the other was slowly sinking down towards Finn's cock. Lower, lower lower.  
Sean, not the best at this (Finn DID NOT mind) was slowly brushing his fingers along Finn's shaft. Finn watched Sean like a hawk.  
Sean, getting out of his head wrapped his hand around Finn's length, slowly starting to stroke him off. heard  
Finn bit his lip and closed his eyes,  
"Sweetie you're so good to me"

Sean held back a smile and sped up. He didn't exactly where to go from there, he wanted to make it exciting for the other, so he stopped.  
Finn huffed as Sean bent down and pressed his lips to Finn's pre-cum soaked tip. He slowly built up the confidence and attempted to place his mouth on Finn's eagerly twitching cock.  
Finn put his hand on his mouth and bit down, stopping a moan from erupting out of him, his eyes never leaving Sean.  
Sean sunk down and tried to bob his head up and down. It tasted like salty skin, Sean thought he could get used to the taste.  
His mind started racing, what if he's bad? What will he do with his teeth? His gag reflex?  
He quickly ignored his self destructive thoughts when heard Finn's beautiful mouth spill with all sorts of praise.  
Sean got an idea.  
already riled up, he experimentally moaned while his mouth was halfway on Finn.  
The vibrations were nuts, and Finn was overcome with the sweet buzz of pleasure. Oh god the things Sean did to him.  
Finn groaned loudly indicating he was about to come.  
Sean took his mouth off with a 'pop' and finished stroking the other boy. Finn came all over Sean's hand.  
"Honey oh my god you're so good!"  
Finn sighed in contentment.  
Sean ate up the praise, feeling his own cock twitch in interest, painfully hard.

Sean grabbed a tissue on the bed stand and cleaned off his hand, fake gagging.  
"Gross." 

Finn propped himself up and examined the other boy.  
"You wan' me to fix that sweetheart?"  
He pointed to Sean's hard on causing him to flush with embarrassment and pride.  
"A-Actually..."  
Sean twirled his almost overgrown hair for extra flare.  
Finn was all ears.  
"I-I was t-thinking maybe you could.... well.. as you know i'm uh.. inexperienced.." he croaked.  
"Seaaaaan Diaz! You wanna be virgin-no-more?"  
Sean laughed and pushed the dreaded haired boy.  
"Well I was only jokin'!"  
Sean nodded.  
"I wanna... know how it feels.."  
Finn raised an eyebrow,  
"Ever watched "gay porn" "  
Sean looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  
"I.. er... "  
Finn cut him off.  
"They make it seem... easy, a-and it could be, it depends on yer pain tolerance.  
I could try an' stretch you out a lil bit beforehand, if you still wanna. No pressure."  
"Sounds good."  
What the fuck? 'Sounds good'? That isn't something you say when your about to lose your virginity! Fucking dumbas-  
"Aight. Keep in mind this may.. hurt at first."

A shiver ran down Sean's whole body as he watched Finn push him on his back, his lust filled eyes, and thick eyelashes carefully watching the younger boy.  
Finn went straight for Sean's mouth, pressing his lips to the other's quite fiercely. Sean could tell that Finn was already hard again, and the sheer  
thought that he could do that to Finn had Sean gulp.  
Sean brought Finn down more so his mouth, his body, could be closer.  
The two found themselves wrapped up in a heated kiss until Finn broke away for air.  
Sean breathed heavy, his lips swollen.  
Finn started sucking on Sean's neck enough to leave a bruise. It was then that Sean realized that Finn had a finger pressed to his tight entrance.  
Finn slowly pushed one in, Sean gasped at the quick pain shooting up through his body.  
Finn's chest was pressed up against Sean's and he tried to stop himself from grinding against the other boy. 

"It's alright sweetie, you're doing wonderful. "  
Sean nodded and pressed another kiss to the boy on top of him.  
During the kiss he yelped into Finn's mouth, Finn now had two fingers in Sean, slowly pumping.  
Sean had tears pricked at the corner of his eyes, he was about to stop Finn when all of as sudden a huge spark of pleasure took over.  
It was like something Sean had never felt before. Finn chuckled as he continued to hit Sean's prostate.  
Finn pulled his fingers out leaving Sean a moaning mess. Finn reached for his small bag in the drawer right by the bed and pulled out a condom, carefully sliding it on before hopping back on Sean.

"Ready hon?"  
"Fuck yeah!"  
Finn smiled a shit eating grin down at Sean, his enthusiasm edging him on.  
"Okay horn dog."  
"S-Shut up."

Sean held onto Finn, vaguely aware of the other clutching onto his hand.  
Finn lined up with Sean's ass and ever so slightly entered him.  
Sean dug his nails into Finn's shoulder as Finn pushed in a little more, giving Sean time to adjust. This was different from fingers for fucking sure.  
Sean whimpered but knew it would only get better.  
"Move."  
Finn exhaled sharply and bent down to kiss Sean as he started slowly thrusting in and out, he started out small then went deeper.  
It took everything out of him to not just slam into Sean. Sean held his breath and screwed his eye shut..  
Finn's hips twitched as he pushed forward, in slow, drawn out thrusts. Sean spat out a bunch of nonsense and curses as his own orgasm built up.  
Each time Finn rutted into Sean he hit Sean's sweet spot, having him moan and curse.  
Finn was lost in his own bliss until Sean started groaning and writhing under him.  
"Ha-Harder"  
Finn almost fucking lost it at how broken Sean's voice was. He grunted and rammed into Sean holding onto his hand tighter.  
The sound of skin slapping together, and the bed creaking was enough to drown out both of their moans.  
Sean thought he started seeing stars as he all but screamed out, cumming hard, a strip of it landing on his own stomach.  
Sean breathed heavily as Finn pushed in, what once was slow drawn out thrusts now turned erratic as Sean almost cried at the overstimulation.  
Finn came with a "Seanohmygod!"  
Sean let out a long sigh as they both came down from their highs. Eventually Finn pulled out and threw his soaked condom in the bin on the opposite side of the bed. 

It was Finn who came down to earth first.  
"Did I rock yer world?"  
Finn looked up at the other grinning like a dumbass.  
Sean's only response was him moving to his side so that the two were facing each other.  
" Did I ever tell you how pretty you are?" Sean teased.  
Finn just beamed. And soon enough the two drifted off into sleep. They would clean up the bed some other time, they would worry about their future some other time.  
For now it was just the two of them, together. 

*

Sean squinted his at the bedroom ceiling. More notably, the wet spot. He groaned and wiped the sleep from his good eye.

He tried to lean forward only to hit his head on the wall.   
"Shit!" He rubbed the back of his head.   
Then he heard rustling and it hit him.  
Finn was here, in Sean's bed.   
They even had sex last night.   
Fuck.   
"Try not to kill yerself "   
Sean chuckled and looked down to his right where he saw Finn Mcnamara in all his glory. A small, boyish smile was plastered on his face as he propped his head up.  
For once this usually tired, sometimes even sickly looking man truly looked at...peace?   
"Good mornin' honey."  
Sean nodded. He didn't know what else to do.   
"I'll go make us some breakfast." Finn leapt out of the small bed and Sean followed. Neither of them bothered with getting fully dressed, still Finn threw on a hawt dog man shirt to match his boxers, and Sean put on a pair of blue-ish shorts.   
In no time Finn was rifling around in Sean's measly fridge.

*

Things were going alright. Things were turning up.   
Soon enough the pair were fixing up Sean's grimey house. They would go to local markets (It all comes full circle huh) and finding cool little art pieces to make the   
home more...well, homey. They swept the floors and moved the furniture. Finn would run along the beach picking up shells and debris and bringing it inside   
like an ecstatic dog who just found a stick. Everything was coming together, the only thing they couldn't mend was the wet spot on the ceiling.   
They slept together in Sean's bed every night regardless if they got frisky, and would take turns "cooking". 

Sean felt like they were together. Lovers even, but he didn't want to assume, and he didn't want to work it out with Finn due to his growing fear of   
confrontation. So he naturally left it.   
Up until a particularly warm Saturday every thing seemed normal.   
They got up early to go to a flea market a few miles away from the house, Finn's fingers brushing Sean's as they laughed and talked  
on they're way.  
But Sean never took his hand in the public eye. He was deathly afraid. He'd already been discriminated against for his darker skin, he   
was afraid of people and what they would do if they saw Sean get close to a man. The truth however, was that everyone was so wrapped up in themselves  
that they couldn't care less. 

They finally arrived and Finn was tugging on Sean's shirt begging him to walk faster to "get to the good stuff"  
Sean observed as families and kids swarmed the market, occasionally he'd see people holding hands, or leaning on each other.   
It bothered him. Happy families, together. People openly showing affection. Sean didn't think it was fair, but he shook his   
head and kept going.   
They saw a lot of vendors selling food, and crafts.   
Wind chimes, colored sand in bottles (Sean thought it was dumb), and picture frames were a high commodity.  
The pair soon found themselves separated. Finn was looking for cushions and Sean was absentmindedly strolling around people watching.   
He soon came in contact with a rather pretty girl. She looked around 17 and had bright green hair. Sean smiled thinking about Cassidy and the gang.  
He was caught off guard by the girl COMING HIS WAY????  
Maybe he was staring? After all she did remind him of his old life with the loners. 

Sean's heart sank, he didn't really want to strike up conversation with anyone today.   
The green haired girl made her way to Sean and reached out her hand?  
"I'm Max!"  
Sean was starting to sweat. He really didn't want to engage in small talk, even with the vendors.   
He took her hand and shook it.   
"S-sean. "  
He looked away searching for Finn in the crowd  
"What brings you around?"  
"I- uh.. looking."  
The girl laughed and tried to get Sean's attention.  
She pulled her hair our of her face and smiled. She seemed nice, but Sean was too frantic.   
"You ok? looks like you've seen a ghost!"   
She laughed at her own joke.   
"Mhm."  
"The girl, Max, still attempting to get Sean's attention decided it would be a lovely idea to START FLIRTING WITH SOME GUY WHO WAS CLEARLY   
A LITTLE PANICKY.   
"Don't talk much? Hm, I guess your good looks make up for it."  
Sean who usually isn't good at reading the room caught on immediately. Mostly due to all the times Penny pointed out Finn and Cassidy's obvious flirting endeavors.   
"Thanks?"  
Sean didn't know what to say.   
"Got a girlfriend?"

Sean gulped. He was stuck. With the "I'm scared to express my feelings or open up" bullshit alongside the   
"Its complicated... oops its also complicated with a man, let me just pepper that in. " Sean was torn.   
Of course Max continued to bug. "Or girlfriend's'."  
Who did she think Sean was?   
That was when Sean heard a loud laugh behind him.  
"Yeah! Seans getting all that pussy! Master player!"  
Oh god oh no. (Finn could be embarrassing at the absolute worst times)   
Sean shuffled his shoes against the dirt watching the girl's quizzical expression.  
Finn saluted Max and came up behind Sean leaning his head to rest on Sean's shoulders, his arms flopped over.  
Sean really didn't know what to do now.   
Max kind of laughed?  
"Oh so you've witnessed the "master player" in action?"  
Finn chuckled. "Oh on the contraire darlin'"   
Sean wanted to run.   
"Max... she.. just.. I just met her. This..This is Finn."  
Finn winked.   
"Im his partner in crime. Pleasure to meet you."  
Max gave a half smile and went back to singling Sean out. 

She opened her mouth to continue, locking her eyes on Sean.  
"O..Ok. So Sean, do ya live around here?"   
It was like she didn't even acknowledge Finn's presence, which is something extremely difficult.   
Finn laughed into Sean's ear and bit it, causing Sean to become hyper aware of how awkward this situation of teenagers not reading social cues has become.   
Max's half smile faded.  
Feeling the need to clear the air so they can go back to looking for food and shit, Finn butted in.   
"We're together sweetie. " He waved his arms around almost hitting Sean in the face.   
Max nodded and laughed.  
"Ah, right. Always the gays I hit on." She looked disappointed but nothing more. No anger, or disgust.   
"Im not-" Sean blurted out. But it was too late, by now Max was walking off.  
Finn moved off Sean and patted his back signaling to move on to the next booth.   
Sean couldn't help but feel sick.. and yet undeniably joyous. 

They continued about their day not speaking about the encounter until about 11 pm or so.  
Sean flopped down on the bed not expecting Finn to join him this early.  
But Finn just kept on surprising him today.   
He crawled into his corner, his head pointed to the ceiling.   
Sean watched him, all his movements, his mannerisms.   
"Finn?"  
"Hm?"  
Sean remembered how Finn referred to the pair's relationship.  
"About.. earlier. I thought you didn't like labels?"  
Finn turned so he was facing Sean, playing with his hair.   
"I guess things change."  
Finn shuffled the sheet off himself and sunk into the pillow.   
"Love ya sweetie."  
"Yeah. Yeah I love you too."  
So much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sooooo much for reading and leaving comments/kudos. It means so much to me!  
> I will be back to posting a chapter or two a week.


	4. All I want is to want nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhhhhhh so this is the angsty chapter I've been planning for a while, it may make some people uncomfortable, so heads up. TW for homophobia, Slurs, public intoxication, underage drinking, and uhhh hate crimes....
> 
> The title and first paragraph are from the front bottoms 'tattooed tears'   
> keep in mind I will make mistakes with grammar and shit and sometimes I think my stories are too rushed, but if you enjoy it please leave a comment or kudos (or both lmao).  
> One more thing to take into consideration is that I have never been in most of these situations so im trying my best to describe what I think something like this would look like. 
> 
> I do not own the rights for this game or annnnny of the characters and this is all purely fiction.  
> Enjoy <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fucking moly. I am so so sorry for my lack of posting, some rather personal issues kept coming up but im in a good enough headspace so I don't leave again. Anyyyywho, I will go back to posting once a week or so. I want to add to all the creators making and making so you don't have to leave your house. I'ts very important that y'all stay indoors.  
> Also if you haven't I higgggghly recommend you listen to the front bottoms, especially tattooed tears.

"You should know  
That you don't kick if you don't have to.  
All's fair in love and war,  
I know. Don't get me wrong.

But if you listen to your heart,  
It may mislead you.  
Lord, I should know.  
I have felt lost for so long."

*

The rain was relentless that night.   
It never stopped, only picked up speed.   
Sean vaguely remembers how it made him feel.   
He was looking out the tiny window with a few stickers on it and listening to Finn's soft breathing against him.   
The rain made a splat noise on the window occasionally. It was all so...normal, yet, something didn't sit right with Sean that night.   
So he did what any reasonable person would do. He went to the kitchen cupboard, grabbed a bottle of tequila mix, and poured it in a cup.

later on, around 5 am Sean awoke from his spot on the kitchen carpet to Finn nudging him with his foot. How romantic.   
All Sean said was a groggy, "go away".   
He heard Finn chuckle. "Making sure you didn't OD or some shit."  
Why did Finn think that was even remotely funny?!

*

Sean glanced up at his partner, he was eyeing all the details of his face. Finn just leaned his head back and teetered on the chair.   
" 's getting late sweetie."  
"Mhm."

* 

Carful, soft hands exploring Sean's body. Rushed kisses, and sneaking hands getting lower and lower.   
Finn positioned himself over Sean, his rough hands pinching at his hip bones. Sean gasped and got up almost tackling his boyfriend onto his back.   
A few laughs and playful hand swatting later they were back to it. Lips on lips, skin on skin. 

Sean had his hands around Finn's neck as they shared a drawn out, heated kiss. Finn, getting more and more aroused, and made it his   
duty to play with the buckle on Sean's pants, only for the younger boy to break the kiss and grab Finn's hand.  
Finn immediately stopped and looked up at the other with widened, worried eyes.   
"Did, Did I do somethin'?"  
Sean shook his head.   
"Its.. no.. you're fine. " Sean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.   
"I just... need to.. get some air."  
Finn nodded and helped Sean find his shirt. 

Sean got up and walked out to the front door and sat on the porch. He was painfully aware of his body shaking. Trembling.   
The warm air soothed him, but it wasn't enough for him to fully calm down.   
It was true, Finn wasn't the one at fault. 

Sean hadn't heard from Stephen and Clair at all since he first got to Puerto lobos. More importantly, that meant he had no contact with Daniel,   
'the' most important person in his life. It occurred to Sean that he spent so much time living his own life, trying to get happy, that Daniel only   
ever crossed his mind every other day. To other people thats "living", to Sean however, that meant being a selfish asshole.  
He thought of all the hell he and his brother went through.   
For what? For fucking what?  
Now he doesn't even know if Daniel is safe. A lot of time passed since the first letter. Is Daniel happy?  
Tears started to flow gingerly down Sean's cheeks. He didn't take himself as much of a cryer. Not until this past month.   
Soon enough the tears started to pour from his eye. It was too much, all of it was too fucking much. Sean balled up his knees with one arm and started slamming his other fist onto the stone porch. He didn't deserve to have any of this.   
He didn't deserve Finn, or this safe little house. None of it. 

*

It's been three days. Three long days since he freaked out on the porch. Three days since he decided to dig himself a hole that even he, didn't know how to get out of.  
Sean (not in the right headspace) dug himself deeper and deeper until he didn't even talk to Finn. He didn't deserve to.   
Every night since then Sean would sleep on the floor of the kitchen. 

Finn was getting worried.   
So that night Finn leapt out of their bed (was it really 'their' bed?) and approached Sean.   
Sean was awake, but not responding to Finn's "hey's"  
"Darlin'.. I've uh.. well I've noticed uh.. " He waved his hands around trying to find the words.   
"This funk. Kind of a bummer. everythin' ok?"  
Sean shifted on the ground so he was facing Finn.   
"Im sorry this is an inconvenience for you. "Sean jabbed.   
"Nonono hey-"  
"Finn, I need you to go."  
"I- what?"  
Finn look like someone knocked the wind out of him.  
"Like for the day er.."  
"No."

*

It has been 6 minutes of cold exchanges. Sean was putting up barbed wire around himself, and at first Finn was afraid, now he's pissed.  
"Sean. You can't fuckin' do that. It never helps nothin!"  
"Oh? Oh right, because you're wonderful at communication! Took you a month to kiss me, and oh, right. You barely told your rag tag gang you were leaving."  
"Sean don't be difficult."  
"You know what? Fuck you. Apparently all I am is difficult. Its why Karen left. It got my dad killed. All-"  
"Sean for fucks sake thats not yer fault!"  
"Right. Right. I suppose then it was your fault? I lost my fucking eye!"

A silence washed over the pair. Finn couldn't get over the guilt of the heist, and in Sean's horrible way of "coping" with   
his own self hatred he attacked him.   
"I..I'll go. "  
"F-Finn no, I.. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry "  
"Nah. 'Im' sorry. for everything. "  
And that was that. 

Finn left. He really did. Because Sean told him to.   
He ended up at a dingy motel a few miles away from Sean's house. 

A few hours after Finn left, and a few hours of pacing in his room, Sean grew some balls. After all, he's done, and been through worse.   
But the thought of completely losing Finn made him want to puke his guts out. 

It probably took no more than 22 minutes to get to the motel on foot. Sean saw all sorts of people when he arrived.   
A couple who looked like they were about to kill each other. A few junkies, and a few runaways. It reminded Sean of his own motel endeavors.   
Thank fuck for Brody.   
The scariest part, wasn't even talking to Finn, it was the three dudes waiting outside his room. 

*

Sean did a double take and went to head out to see if they'd leave. He ruffled his shaggy hair, and nervously scratched his arm.   
That was all he'd manage to do. Not once even taking a step back. As much as he didn't want extra confrontation, something sure didn't sit right with them there.   
And thats when Sean started creeping closer. One of the dudes, skinny and clearly intoxicated, put a finger up to his lips.   
Then it hit Sean. 

Finn wasn't aware of these assholes, and that seemed like they're ideal plan. Plan? Sean's head was all over the place.   
Maybe Finn bought weed from one of them and they tracked him down? Maybe they're just drunk? Whatever it was, it probably wasn't... good.   
Sean's throat bobbed and his mouth got dry. He knows a bunch of drunk dudes are never a good thing to mess with, he's met a few along his ways to get here.   
Thankfully they weren't all skinny white guys. (Even scarier) Two with darker, tanner skin, and one with a gross little mop of curly hair that adorned his pale white skin.   
Motherfucker must've landed here from outer space. 

Sean shook his head. He needed to focus. His mind had been so full he almost forgot how... good it felt to even be by Finn. 

Sean knew he didn't need a key to get in, he could tell the lock has been picked numerous times. Maybe from these punks?   
He adjusted his eye patch, stopped scratching at his reddened arm and paid little to no attention to how empty the halls were.   
The men (well, more like a bunch of 19 year olds that probably smelled like earring backings) out front watched Sean like a hawk. All his steps closer. Almost like they were waiting to jump him. 

Sean ignored the clearly valid fear and finally reached the end of the rooms leading up to Finn's. The gang of dudes weren't exactly 'at' Finn's door.   
They were off to the side. Sean, knowing fully well that even if Finn never wants to see him again, these guys are looking for him. He needed to do something. 

Sean got up to the door, didn't knock, and was about to turn the knob.   
Suddenly one of the drunk guys, the same one who signaled for Sean to be quiet, spoke up.   
"Whats a pretty gal like yourself doing out.. out here?" He slurred. One of the others catcalled Sean, making him increasingly afraid.   
"You gotta answer when someone asks you a question. Your momma never taught you that?"  
Sean didn't respond. He held the doorknob tightly.   
"Waiting outside for you're boyfriend or somethin. Need to get your disgusting little dick hard?" One of them leered   
Sean was terrified. He already had to encounter a hell of a lot of racists, and now more ignorant assholes are on his tip. Fuck Fuck Fuck.   
"Fucking answer me!" The biggest one yelled.

It was then that Finn noticed the yelling. Sean almost got hit by the door that swung open.   
"Keep it down ladies-"  
Sean gulped not looking at either the gang of guys, or Finn.   
"Sean?" Finn said almost not loud enough to make out.   
One of the pricks got up. 

*

"What the fuck are you two fags even doin here? Come over to hump each other like fucking dogs?"

Sean was now petrified. Finn could hold his own, against one, maybe two blokes... but three?  
It also hit him how Finn handles this kind of stuff. With fucking jokes.

Finn closed the door, fully out in the open now.   
"Well, if it pleases the court you three will be happy to know I'm open for a lil action."  
Finn flashed one of them a toothy, smug grin.   
Sean was close to grabbing Finn and running the hell away from here.  
Now all of them staggered up.  
"What 'bout you?" One of their voices rose, as Sean was facing them.   
"What about me fucker?" Sean hissed.  
"When was the last time some bimbo chick sucked 'you' off?"  
Sean literally couldn't respond. If this was a different situation he might even have laughed. ( Jen was out of his league anyway). 

One of the brutes got frighteningly close to Finn and Sean.   
Finn spoke up to crack another dangerous "joke".   
"Well, if you're interested laddie-"   
Finn was quickly cut off by one of the bigger dudes Hitting him. One of these dumb fuckers punched Finn in the face.   
Sean felt frozen in time, sorta like deja vu. It reminded him too much of the confrontation that killed his dad.  
Something bubbled in his blood, making Sean surge up and knock the big one to the filthy floor. He was met with a hit in the face, visibly harder than Finn's.   
He couldn't dwell on the blood in his gums, or the loose tooth just yet.  
Finn focused all his energy in getting up and kicking the skinny one in the dick. He doubled back. It might have been the alcohol, or the fact some stoner just kicked him in the nuts, but skinny white boy threw up onto the ground as he leaned on the wall trying to get his balance back.   
The whole situation was jarring, one moment Sean was shoved to the wall while one of them hit him in the gut, while the next Finn was pulling one of them off until he too was getting hit relentlessly. Sean managed to hit his attacker in the head with his own, then threw one of the shitheads off of Finn and started kicking him hard in the leg and knee. Finn held his stomach, almost falling over in exertion. Sean was afraid. Very afraid. He realized that even if his brother wasn't here he had to continue being brave for other people. The ones he loved. And regardless of where they will end up after this, Sean loves Finn. 

Sean spit out his tooth, filling his mouth up with copper and kneed the big one in the chin. causing him to punch Sean's chest and then shoulder with such force, that Sean will definitely be panicking about breaking something after this.   
"This fucker bout to give me fuckin AIDS!" The big one spat. He had Sean's blood all over him. Sean was more worried about the brutes own mix of blood on him.   
Bitch probably has crabs. 

While the smallest one and the skinny guy were reeling, along with Finn, (who took a pretty bad beating in the stomach)  
The biggest guy was going after Sean, who was trying to outsmart him. Long story short it did not work. Sean then noticed one of the drunks was on the ground, behind biggie. He crossed his fucking fingers this would work, and Sean managed to grab a hold of him and push him so that he would trip on his buddy and fall to the ground, far away enough so that they could run. Assface did end up tripping over the other one, and hit his head on the ground pretty hard.   
Finn sputtered up a bit of blood when he coughed, trying to regain control over his body. 

Sean's stomach fell to the floor in fear of how to get out of here, thats when he remembered unlike Daniel, he couldn't get Finn out of a sticky situation easily.   
So he (not thinking rationally) just pulled Finn's arm so hard it'll probably dislocate. Finn nodded and chased up after Sean. Finn probably had a quick spirt due to his adrenaline because damn was he running.   
The two of them ended up leaving the back door and climbing down to the dumpster where they "hopped" off and ran.   
They ran and ran, not looking back once. The two of them, together again. Beaten and busted all about. 

*  
Finn flopped on the couch in pain, followed by Sean.   
"Ya think anythings broken?"  
Finn chuckled.  
" BEATS me." Sean joked.  
"I see what ya did there fuckface!"  
Sean laughed, eventually causing a sharp pain throughout his whole body. He didn't think anything got broken. He looked over at Finn, smiling with his dried blood all over his face. Nothing at all. 

The rest of the night was spent on checking each others wounds, cleaning up, and smoking a joint.   
Sean's head throbbed, and his knees and mouth were stinging like hell. He slipped into bed. Their bed. Followed by a chatty Finn mumbling things like,  
"Pussy's nice too." "what assholes" "Fuckin ow" and Sean's personal favorite, "Those guys stank."  
Sean just nodded and laid facing Finn.   
"Im sorry" Finn buried his face in Sean's collar bone, taking in his sweaty, cleaner smell.   
Sean reached up so he could hold Finn's hand, fingers intertwined.  
"I know. "   
There was a pause before Sean opened his mouth.  
"Im sorry."  
"Shut up."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and following Sean's misadventures in game!  
> I will try to get 1-2 more chapters up this week, but I have a lot coming up so ehhh stay tuned.  
> I can't wait to evolve on this story! I have a lot of stuff planned for the future of this series.  
> Sorry if my grammar is shit, and I now came to the realization i'm not a good writer lmao.  
> Anyway, the title of this work/ and the beginning paragraph are lyrics from The Front Bottoms: Twin Sized Mattress.


End file.
